Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

What It's Like to Suffer From Multiple Sclerosis

Today I welcome Jenny to my blog. Jenny has 3 beautiful boys, grandchildren and Multiple Sclerosis. When I was at school I used to go around knocking on my neighbours doors raising money for the MS Read-a-thon so that research could be conducted into the causes, treatment and cure for Multiple Sclerosis. It's an illness very close to my heart. I think most people in Australia would've seen the tv advert with an eldery lady and a young woman sitting on the verandah of an old ranch with a walking stick in between them. People are shocked to learn that the walking stick belongs to the young woman, who suffers from MS, to be able to move around.

Hear about Jenny's story today!

Take it away Jenny.

Jenny is in the middle and the man on the left is her patient, loving and caring husband Graeme.

Hello. My name is Jenny Fisher and I have Multiple Sclerosis. I am 51, have 3 sons and 4 grandchildren.  I am wheelchair bound and have had it (diagnosed) since 1989/90. However, with hindsight I have presented with symptoms since around 1976.   I had a serious ‘episode’ in 1980, where the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong. My symptoms were extreme sensitivity and numbness to the left side of my body.   I was ’looked at’ and then sent to hospital. I celebrated my 18th birthday in hospital with doctors looking at me like I was crazy. I had one doctor tell me it was related to the severe scald scars I have on my chest, except I was scalded with hot water when I was 15 months. I personally thought I was used to them being there, but who knows I was crazy.

I met and fell madly in love with, now, husband, Graeme and have 3 amazing boys.  We have been through it together from the start, basically. So many times I went to doctors and specialists who thought I was making it up. I had one specialist tell me, to my face, ‘Some people get tired playing sport, I get tired doing normal things.’ 

Really helpful. NOT. 

I had 3 children under 4 and they kept telling me to go home and relax. YEAH RIGHT! I spent a couple of years walking around in darkness, or under a cloud, and it didn’t matter how many times I looked up or tried to get out from under it, the shadow was always above me. I seemed to cry all the time and felt like I had cotton wool in my ears, everything was muffled. I remember very little of my middle child’s early years until after he had started school.  I was sent to stay with my parents in Adelaide (We were living in Loxton) to try and get some, (I don’t remember what we were hoping to gain). My husband had the  boys on his own for about 3 months,  taking our youngest to work with him. 

Through all of this he barely held himself together, but no-one even considered him, medically.  It was very hard on him trying to keep us together as a family.

We moved to Morgan for work and I didn’t improve. I decided I needed to know if I was depressed or it was part of the MS.   I met with a Neuro-psychologist who after ‘testing’ me told me my depression had more to do with my MS not just depression. 

Most of my children’s childhood was spent in Cummins on the Eyre Peninsula.  Moving was the best thing we ever did. The house we bought was made for me and my family. We call it a ‘God thing’, because it ticked soooo many boxes for us.

My boys grew up through all this turmoil of a nutty mother, but I think it has made them better people for it. They seem more capable to sympathise with people.  I think we are certainly a closer family because of it, thanks mostly to my husband, I think.  He was the glue that kept things together.  I think we have ALL become better people because of. It. Anyone who knows our family will know we are nuts...!!!

About the Illness

Now some info on MS. It is classed as an auto immune disease. What happens is basically like an electrical short circuit, but with nerves. Something eats the myelin coating on the nerves and messages don’t get through.  The disease is best diagnosed with an MRI. It shows dead spots in the brain, a very clear indication.
One of the annoying things with the disease is it’s randomness. 

One day you’ll be walking around the next it’s gone. Then it may just come back again. No ’exercise’ helps, keeping limbs mobile is the best tactic, because tomorrow you might not be able to get out of bed. The heat affects me the most. My body basically melts and all my bones and muscles turn to jelly. Sometimes it happens while you are just standing.  It is very unpredictable.

Some people have asked if I had known before hand, would I have had children.  MS is supposedly better when your pregnant, I did not experience that. By the time No.3 arrived I could barely walk, once he was out I felt like running a marathon, well a walk around the block anyway. I believe I would have still been blessed with children whether or not the MS was there. They have been such a blessing and a help, because I had to try and pull myself together and offer some ‘normality’ for their lives.  It is very easy to slip into immobility.

Effects of MS

I can’t really say how MS has changed my life or my family’s because I have always had it so it was no real adjustment. As parts of my body gave up we just adjusted and dealt with it.   I feel it more now  I’m a grandma, because I can’t pop down to see them or run and play with them or pick them up for cuddles. Skype is a wonderful tool for keeping in contact, but nothing takes the place of touch and cuddles. The little videos from phones are wonderful because we don’t really miss out on those special times; first steps etc.


Jenny x

To learn more about the illness, visit the National MS Society website.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Don't Tell the Guests

Maybe something like this for our wedding cake topper? haha via

Now that the dates set, venues booked, save the dates are out and celebrant is done and dusted, it's time to talk serious wedding business; the cake!

All of those fellow food lovers out there would have to agree that the food, and particulary the cake, is a critical part of the day!

Gone are the times of a traditional tiered fruit cake coated in marzapan, and in are the multi-layered, different flavoured, pure mouth watering delightfulness of tiered baked goodness or cupcakes individually hand crafted by the celebrated chef.

There's a couple of things to think about when it comes to the cake that takes a little more thought then the flavour (chocolate mud - duh?!)

Do you want the cake served as dessert or are you going to have it cut and carted off in a doggy bag for the guests to cure their hangover later?

Does the venue charge to cut and plate the cake (ridiculous I know, but some do, and it can cost you an arm and leg!)?

Is there an additional charge for delivering the masterpiece?

How will you transport the cake to the reception?

Will the cake need to be refrigerated?

Will you serve the actual cake or will you have a slab pre made that is sneaikly cut and served by the staff out the back?

How big will the cake need to be to feed your guests?

Decisions, decisions.

I think one of the hardest things is knowing how much you can expect to pay.

Once I'd had a cake quoted I texted all of my trusty been-there-done-that brides to form a rough idea. From what I could gather, most cakes cost between $400-$800 to feed roughly 130 guests.

After convincing Mick that a Woolworths mudcake wouldn't cut it (even as delicious as they are), I found a highly recommended must have baker in Wendy.

Check out her masterpiece; we couldn't resist!

We're going to tweak the design slightly (aka jumping online and searching for the perfect replicas of Mick and I as cake toppers) but this devine mountain of pure chocolate decandance (with the top layer of lemon) is going to satisfy our bellies!!!

We've decided to serve the cake as dessert and luckily enough, found a venue where they don't charge to cut and plate it! YAY!
I couldn't recommend Wendy enough! The amount of time and effort that she places into carefully crafting her cakes is reflected in the photos that she has taken on her website (check it out here) anddddddd an added bonus? She's super affordable
( the two magic words that brides love to hear!)

To make sure you don't miss out on your dream cake, you will need to contact Wendy at least 8 weeks (and if not more) before the wedding. She is already taking bookings for 2014 (I told you, popular people get snapped up quickly!)
To see more of her wonderful creations, like Cake Dreams by Wendy on Facebook.
What did you have for your cake?

Do you have any tips and tricks for finding the perfect cake?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Monday, 18 March 2013

Depression Medication: Is it Time?

Usually the decision to stop taking medication is easy; your script either runs out, your snotty nose clears up or the fungi between your toes disappears.

But the decision to stop taking Depression medication is possibly one of the hardest ones that I have ever had to make.

Depression medication is designed to stimulate the growth of, and produce, Serotonin, the chemical inside of your brain that controls your moods and emotions.

So what happens when you feel 'happy' again and your moods start to stabilise? Do you stop taking your medication straight away? How long do you have to be 'happy' for before you stop?

For those who haven't experienced depression, the answers would be yes and straight away; when you are better you no longer need medication.

Those who have experienced the torment, torture and sheer terror of depression know that it's not that easy.

Picture yourself surviving a plane crash. Chances are that you will never trust another aircraft again or you are going to be extremely anxious about flying because you have been so terrorised by the experience. Even thinking about flying would probably increase your heart rate make you feel dizzy and your palms sweat. So what do you do? You drive or catch a boat instead or you face your fears and attempt to fly again.

Depression is a little more tricky. Some people don't even know what caused it in the first place; it could be a build up of stress over time, it could be hereditary or it could be that someone has passed away. It's not like you can dissect the 'depression gene', or live in fear of other people dying around you, or hold yourself back from a job interview, buying a house or children in fear of stress to prevent depression coming back. You can't just avoid life and you certainly don't want to live life in fear.

But the thought of depression coming back is so scary that it stops people from weaning them self off of their medication.

Just how do you know if you are really better? So you might feel better, but does that mean that your medication is holding up the forte or has your brain starting producing enough Serotonin to stabilise your moods.

What happens if you stop taking the medication and you come crashing down? It takes roughly 4-6 weeks for medication to start working again. Do you want to risk that?

Is it a bad thing to be on your medication for life? I mean there are people out there who take cholesterol and blood pressure tablets everyday and even when their levels go back to being 'normal', they still take the tablets as a preventative.

Do you really want to come off of the medication or are you just worried about the stigma attached to it?

Are you able to have children while you are on your medication?

Why is there pressure out there to 'come off' of your medication as soon as possible?

I don't know the answer, but I'd strongly suggest speaking to your doctor if you are thinking about coming off of your antidepressants. 

It's not like Panadol, you can't just stop taking the medication as soon as your headache has gone, you need to slowly wean yourself off with the guidance of your doctor who is supervising you.

I think there must be a point when you learn to trust yourself again, and when you feel as though you've got the tools and strategies to prevent depression from coming back without the help of medication.

It is only then, when you feel ready (and not when others are telling you), that you should seek advice from your doctor about weaning yourself off.

I've been 'well' for two years now, but the thought of coming off of my medication still scares me. I have often thought about it, but I don't think I'm quite ready yet...the memories are still too painful.

But one day I know that there'll come a time when I am ready, and I hope and pray that it all goes smoothly when it does.

Have you ever taken antidepressants? How did you feel about coming off of your medication?

How did you go about it?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Sunday, 17 March 2013

Should We Smack Our Children?

Should this take the place of smacking? Via

We've all had a moment when we've been attempting to sip a Cappuccino at a cafe in peace and quiet, or trying to enjoy our Singapore Slings upon an overseas flight when our palm starts twitching as some little brat is screaming their head off, and you think, for a second, "if that was my child..."

I like many believe in discipline but I also believe that there is a very fine line between discipline and abuse.

I guess we all need to take a step back and think about what the purpose of "smacking" a child is, in order to fully understand this debate.

 I think most would agree that discipline is a way of teaching a person right from wrong.

I guess, then, if we think of it this way, it's extremely important that we're not teaching our children that it's okay to go around and hit others, if you disagree with their point of view, or have different ideas about what is right and wrong.

This then leads me to my next point; what is 'okay' to use and where is 'okay' to smack a child?

By this I mean, is it okay to use your hand, but not a polyester black pipe? Is it okay to hit a child on the backside but not their face? Is it okay to use full force to produce a hand imprinted welt or just enough to bring about a little stinging sensation?

I guess it brings us back to the question, what is the purpose of discipline?

Is it to install fear in a child?

Is it an authoritative stance by a parent? 

I bought the topic up with a friend the other day over a coffee, both of who, are yet to be parents.

I was strongly for discipline, but in moderation and as a last resort, never with full force, and only ever on the backside, thigh or hand. I also believe that discipline must go hand in hand with verbal verification of what the child is doing wrong, so that they understand why they are being punished.

My friend on the other hand, bought up something that I guess I hadn't really thought about in the great debate. She said that she strongly believes in consistency as a way of disciplining children. By this she means that if a child is doing something wrong, then the parent must explain to the child what they are doing, and follow up with a consequence e.g. if you continue to behave in this way, then you will not be able to use technology for the next week. She strongly believed that if parents stuck to their word, and followed through on their consequences, then children would soon learn the boundaries, what acceptable behaviour and language is, and how to respect things and others, without having to physically reprimand a child.

This would only work however, if a parent is consistent, and follows through with their 'threats'. Children are smart, and will play on a parents weakness.

My friends point of view definitely opened up my eyes, and even made me question my own stance.

My sister, who is a childcare worker, also believes that it's a matter of teaching children to make the right choices. If a child is making a bad decision, then it's important to pull them up, ask them to explain their behaviour and to ask them what they think the consequences may be e.g. Parent - what do you think you were doing wrong? Child - running with a lolly pop in my mouth. Parent - why do you think that is bad? Child - I could hurt myself. Parent - what would be a good choice? Child - to walk instead.

That way children are identifying what is classifed as bad behaviour, having to think about the consequences and are then thinking about making better choices to replace this behaviour.

I guess we have to think about whether children really do learn anything from being physically punished. Once the stinging has worn off, do they even remember what they did wrong and why?

I guess it's hard to judge another persons parenting, and at the end of the day, the primary caregivers for the child are the ones who make the final decision, but what we really need to think carefully about is what we are trying to achieve by 'smacking' our children.

Personally, I think teaching a child right from wrong and how to act and behave in society requires consistency, explanations, setting examples in our own behaviour, following through on consequences, and if all else fails, the occasional smack to teach children that in the big wide world, there will be ramifications if you don't follow rules and regulations that are much worse then a slight sting to the leg.

If all else fails, you could always do a Homer Simpson! Via
What do you think?

Should we 'smack' children?

Where should be 'smack' children?

What's okay to use to 'smack' children?

What is the purpose of 'smacking' a child?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Moving Home Sweet Home

My partner and I left the big smoke with a population of 1 million to move home to the place where we grew up in with a population of 1,000!

Here all about our big move the anxieties, decisions, worries and joys in a guest post that I have written for ABC Open. Follow the link below :)

Coming Home Sweet Home

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Don't Tell the Guests

The fun bit? YOU get to decide how to create a fun save the date! Via

A bride and a groom make a marriage, but family and friends make a wedding, so one of the most important things to do of course, is to let those closest to you know that they'll need their best dancing shoes ready to celebrate on your special day.

Yes, I'm talking about save the dates.

Date set TICK
Venue booked TICK
Guest list created TICK

Now that you have the ingredients, you can unleash your creative side and start cooking up a save the date storm (or asking someone else to do it for you!)

Whether you've 'pinned' fifty million save the date ideas, have no idea about save the dates, are a creative genius and own shares in Office Works, or have friends in the right places, creating your save the dates should be fun!

Luckily for the I-missed-hitting-every-branch-on-the-creative-tree self, I happened to have a great friend who helped to design the master piece that you can see above.

This is a quick, easy and cost efficent way to create a save the date.


creative mind

I also cut and stuck a piece of paper with extra little details for guests who would be needing to board a plane, road trip, or sail to our wedding (yes, some of our guests are going to try the latter one!!) We didn't want our guests missing out on accomodation and we wanted to give them the local tips for what's best and affordable, so we included this on the back of the save the date: 

It takes a bride and groom to form a marriage, but it takes friends and family to make a wedding. We’d love for you to be a guest at our very special day.

The ceremony (TBA) and reception (Yacht Club) will be held in Port Lincoln.

As it’s held over the long weekend, we strongly encourage you to start booking accommodation and flights soon!

Here are some of our picks:

The whole 9 yards
The Port Lincoln Hotel (right on the foreshore and a 5 minute walk from the reception).
The Marina – lots to choose from including apartments.
The Hilton (right next door to the reception)

On the pover side of life
The Pier (walking distance to reception)
The Grand Tasman Hotel (walking distance to reception)
Caravan Park
Getting here
Road trip! (7 hour drive)
Plane flight (45 minutes). Regional Express (REX) or Qantas

All up our save the dates cost around $120, including postage, to 130 guests. BARGAIN!

Many people believe that the save the dates set the scene for the wedding. What do I mean by this? Well, the colours, fonts, photos, bunting, flowers and paper choices that you make to include on your invite, all start the reflect the overall theme of your wedding (who would've knew?!) haha.

Our wedding for example, is going to have a "country fair" type theme, with bunting, fairy lights, a photobooth, and fun games to keep the guests entertained between the ceremony and reception. We therefore chose a playful photo, bunting, and the colour of the bridesmaid dresses to appear on the save the date (trust me, I didn't realise this "golden rule" before becoming a bride myself!)

If you are having a "hand crafted/diy wedding theme", then you might choose to make your save the dates by hand, hole punching out shapes, cutting and pasting ribbons, flowers, shells, pearls and gems to your invite.

Mick's original suggestion was to print the information on napkins or newspaper (typical male hahaha). 

Haha another cracker one that I found on the internet! Via
I think the best thing about weddings is that each one is different, and whether you chose to send save the dates, print, make or recycle paper, cut, chop or stick, is up to you!

One little tip that I have found is to collect your guests postal addresses in an Excel Spreadsheet (or whatever kind of filing system you find easy to manage). That way you don't have to badger your guests again for their addresses when it comes time to send the actual invites (oh yes, there are those too!)

Spreadsheets are also handy to manage your guest list - you know who you have invited, and whether they can or can't attend, as well as keeping track of the overall number of guests.

It's so exciting seeing your ideas come to life, and I'm starting to realise that the process of creating a wedding is (and should be) as fun and stressfree as the day!

What did you do for your save the dates?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Thursday, 7 March 2013

Carrying the Cells, but Miscarrying the Baby.

Today I welcome one of my best friends to my blog. I'm so proud of her strength and courage to speak out about a topic that none of us ever think we'll experience: miscarrying a baby. Take it away Mel.
I used to think... finding the right partner, getting married and having a family is just how life panned out.
Now I know... that sometimes it's not that simple.
The only thing that I have ever been certain of is that I always wanted to be a mum. My partner and I fell pregnant with our first baby when I was 24. It only took 4 months to conceive. I was scared, but my partner was excited. All was going well, until I was 26 weeks and 3 days pregnant, when I started having contractions. I was taken to the hospital where our baby boy was born, weighing 950gms.
One year on, we decided that it was time to start trying for our next baby. After trying for a year, we fell pregnant. I was around 4 weeks when we found out the exciting news. A week later, I experienced some bleeding, and went straight to the doctors. I didn't have any stomach cramps, or any other signs, but I knew that it was odd to be experiencing this. I had a blood test taken to check my HCG levels (your pregnancy hormones). The test showed that I was pregnant. I was asked to come back and take the same test again in a couple of days. The results showed that my HCG levels had dropped, indicating that I was miscarrying.
I lost the foetus.
After women start bleeding when pregnant, even if they aren't miscarrying, they have to have an anti-d injection. The reason I had to have this injection is because my partners blood type is A+ and my blood type is A-. Therefore, if the baby that I am carrying, was A+, then my body would see it as an ""impostor" and would create antibodies to "kill" the foreign cells. The injection (which is made up of different blood types), stops my body from trying to destroy the growing cells forming into a foetus.
7 weeks passed, and we decided to start trying again. I found out that I was pregnant at 5 weeks. This time I was a little bit more weary because I was worried that I might miscarry again. A few days later I started experiencing pain in my stomach and I started bleeding. I knew what was happening so I didn't go to the doctor straight away. I went to the doctor about a week after, just to confirm my suspicions and to have another anti-d injection.
I lost the foetus.
My partner and I decided to have some tests taken to see if we could find the cause for the miscarriages. I had to have 12 tubes of blood taken to test for all sorts of different causes. My partner also had to have a blood test. His came back okay, but mine showed that I was lacking Folic Acid.
The doctor encouraged me to take 5mg of Folic Acid daily, while trying to become pregnant.
Two and a half months later I fell pregnant again. My first ultrasound showed that I was around 5 weeks. My second ultrasound showed the same results as the first. This was two weeks later. I had formed the sack, but there was no foetus growing inside.
I had the choice of having a D & C (dilation and curettage - where you open up the cervix and empty the contents of the uterus), or waiting for the sack to pass naturally.
This was definitely the worst experience for me. Two weeks later, it passed.
The hardest part... is when people ask "when are you going to have another one?"  At the start, I couldn't bring myself to tell the truth. Now, I will say that we've been trying, but we're having a little bit of trouble.
The best advice to others... I would tell others in the same situation as me (and I say me and not us because my partner and I deal with it very differently), is  that it's never easy miscarrying a child. Try not to listen to what some people say, and let yourself grieve. You'll probably find that you blame yourself, well I did anyway for the first couple of weeks.  
For everyone else, let the person know that you are there for them, but just try and be careful of what you say. Things that don't help include:
"You're lucky that you've got one"
"Be grateful with what you've got"
 "It's about time you started trying for another one"
"It happens for a reason" - can be a difficult one to digest.
The most important thing to just be there for the person, and listen if they open up about it.
Mel xxxx
I would tell others...

Introducing the Latest Addition to Our Family!

So my partner and I are engaged and we own two houses so you'd think we'd be used to this big scary word called responsibility.

But for some reason, I feel as though we've just taken on the biggest role so far (probably because it involves another life that relies on us for survival!) haha

Meet Ninja.

He's our perfect, four legged, hard shelled, twenty cent piece of pure adorableness!

Believe it or not but at 25 he's the very first pet that I have owned since living out of home and I am in LOVE!

Ohhh he's just soooo cute. How can you say 'no' to that face?

I knew that we'd get along just perfectly when I spotted him in the pet shop and he swam right up to me.

He was a bit shy at first!
I then knew that'd we'd be best pals when I fed him his tiny cube of food and he gobbled it up, trying to suck the rocks around him for more! He's a garbage guts just like me!

And well, let's just say that when you get a birthday message from your partner saying "happy birthday babe, don't kill Ninja", you start to get the picture of just how much faith my partner has in me!

God help us when we have kids!


Do you have a pet?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Loving To Care, Caring for Someone You Love

Mick carried me when I could no longer carry myself.

At some stage in life most people will make the vowel to love another person in sickness and health. Fortunately for many of these people, up until this point, they would have never had to truly provide care for the person whom they care for.

I'm not talking the kind of care when you race down the street and buy Aloe Vera scented tissues, Eucalyptus smelling chest rub, and turn your blind eye to the snot bubbles and Rudolph nose that has appeared on your partners face.

I'm talking about the energy devouring, selfless act of caring for someone 24/7 while putting your own aspirations and life on hold to devote yourself to aiding your loved one back to health, or to least to make them feel comfortable.

Luckily for me, and yes, I see it now as lucky, that my partner and I have been through one of these such times.

Two years ago I suffered from major depression; I had practically 'given up' on life. My body was sapped of energy as my mind went into overdrive and filled my head with ruminating thoughts of negativity.

I couldn't get out of bed. I'd toss and turn in the darkness of my room, wanting it all to end.

But my partner did not give up on me.

He could see past my actions to my illness, and knew that with time, the right help and medication, that I would return to my full of energy, life loving, optimistic self.

Let me tell you now that my partner is one of the most laid back, chilled out people that you will ever meet; nothing usually phases him.

Well this phased him. 

Even when everyone around me was breaking down, he stood strong, not only for me, but for everyone else.

It was him who would work full time, come home, pull me out of bed, help me into and out of the bath, cook tea and make sure I'd eat, sit and cuddle me for hours on end without a word being said, listen to me babble on about how horrible I was feeling, and, on top of all of this, we were buying a house, so he was signing papers, packing up our old house and moving into our new one.

He'd take days off of work to drive me to appointments, even having to make them at times. He'd bring flowers to me in the hospital and magazines, games, and books too.

And no matter how exhausted he was, we'd walk aimlessly together at night time around the neighbourhood just to get me out of the house and into the fresh air.

Mick saw me at my absolute worst.

He saw me when I'd lay in a heap on the floor with my towel wrapped around me bawling my eyes out.

He saw me when I'd lash out and swear and curse about how unfair it was to be feeling that way.

He believed in me when I had lost belief in myself.

The brave face that I had smiling back at me.

Only once do I remember Mick crying, and that's when I'd be in and out of hospital for 6 weeks and he just didn't know what to do anymore.

Luckily for me my medication was starting to balance out the Serotonin in my brain, bringing back my fight not flight response, and it triggered something inside of me; I knew it was up to me to continue the battle and return to health, if only for Mick.

I swear at times it would've been easy for my partner to hit that highway running. I know that one of his workmates at the time (who'd cowardly left his wife for the same thing), told Mick to pack his bags, but instead of packing his bags, he asked me to marry him when I was all better.

While I still become upset when I think back to those times, and what I put him through, I know that if the same thing happened to Mick that I would be there for him too.

I have now learnt that sometimes, when the other person struggles to love themself, and even you, that they are the times when you have to put 200% of your time, energy and love into your relationship, for that's what loving to care, caring for someone you love is all about.

That is why you say the words in sickness and health.

There are people all over the world who become carers to their loved ones, and I admire and respect these people so incredibly much, for it is exhausting, frustrating and difficult, but it also shows up most courage, love and admiration for another human being.

So please, don't forget to ask the partners, friends and family of people who are going through a difficult time how they are doing too, for they might just be the ones who need some TLC and a shoulder to lean on.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Did you know that " 720,000 South Australians provide unpaid care and support to a family member or friend who needs help because of an illness, disability or frail age?" (http://carers-sa.asn.au/facts) Click on the logo below for more information.

Carers South Australia : Supporting family carers