Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Saturday, 28 June 2014

Would you work for free?

Would you ever work for free?

Did you know that there's millions of people out there donating their time and energy for the greater goodness of this world?

I think it's truly amazing, inspiring and a great example of just how enriched our lives can be through the commitment of people who put up their hand,  often behind the scenes and who go unrecognized,  solely because they want to spread joy awareness and share their knowledge and skills with others.

We live in an era where the demands of life make us time poor and between juggling work and running a house we often have little to no energy left for anything else.

This is what makes volunteers even more remarkable; they find the time in their busy schedules to attend meetings,  apply for funding grants, create events,  network with local organisation's,  plan training sessions,  brainstorm ideas and turn ideas into actions.

There's so many of these people who live amongst us and bring joy and depth to our lives.

Often some of the most rewarding and beneficial activities that you engage in don't have a salary attached to them;  you just do them out of the goodness of your heart.

So let's take a minute to celebrate these unsung heros and to go out of our way to show your support to them.

It could be the guy who donates his time to run the bar and cook delicious meals back at the club for no other reason but to fill your bellies with joy!

It might be your netball president or coach who spends countless hours planning training sessions,  attending meetings,  setting up the courts,  chasing subs just so that you can take the court on a Saturday.

It may be your tutor, mentor,  town gardener,  book club president or anyone you know,  who is donating their time to your cause.

Let them know that you appreciate them, for your words and gratitude is payment enough.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xx

Thursday, 26 June 2014

We Need You To Stay in Bed All DAY! SAY WHAT?

Want an excuse to stay in bed all day?

Here’s a guilt free reason with a feel good guarantee, you’ll help find a cure for MITOchondrial disease, a really crook disease, mito robs the cells of energy, it makes it hard to get about, it often can be fatal, so we have to sort this out! We need to find a cure but need cash to get it done, so stay in bed on stay in bed day and have a bit of fun!'

' SUNDAY 29th JUNE 2014

What for? ‘One Australian child born each week will develop a severe or life-threatening form of mitochondrial disease.' There is currently no cure and few effective treatments…help me change this!
Kylie's Experience

I grew up with the most amazing and inspiring sister, Kate. Kate suffered from mitochondrial disease and various other illnesses that stemmed from mitochondrial myopathy. Kate got around in a wheelchair or gopher and spent countless days and hours having to rest in bed as her body did not produce the energy it needed to function. Sadly there is no cure for this disease and Kate passed away in 2003 at the age of 18.

In recent years my family has been directly involved in breakthrough research regarding mitochondrial cell diagnosis and now it’s my turn to give back financially. I've created this page because I want to make a difference to the families still affected by this horrible disease. I'm inspired by the work that Australian Mitochondrial Disease Foundation do, so I wanted to raise money for them as part of my participation in Stay in Bed Day 2014. Please help me help them by giving whatever you can using the 'Give Now' button. The more people that know about Australian Mitochondrial Disease Foundation, the greater their impact, so please also spread the word by sharing my page with your friends and family. 

Thankyou! Stay in bed day 29th June 2014...helping to find a cure!! Stay in bed, sleep in, stay in your pjs (or birthday suit haha) or hang out in your uggies all day like Kate used to x

To donate, click on the link below - it's super easy and goes to a great cause!

Monday, 16 June 2014

Staying Mentally Fit

There's such a huge emphasis on keeping physically tight taunt and terrific that I never even gave my mental wellbeing a second thought.

That was until I became incredibly ill.

It was then that I realized that it didn't matter whether I had muffin tops, or skinny none touching and chaffing thighs or not;  being mentally unwell was the worst.

From that point in time I made a promise to myself to take each day as it comes and to make my main priority my mental wellbeing.

So what does it mean to be mentally fit?

In my eyes,  being mentally fit is the ability to recognize unhelpful thoughts and to change them into a more positive mindset to improve your overall outlook on both yourself and the life that you are choosing to live.

In order to be mentally fit you must learn to respect yourself and your decisions,  so that you can positively reinforce your mind.

How do I keep a mentally fit mind?

Just like having that wham bam thankyou man body requires commitment and exercise, it does take time and conscious effort to shape a mentally fit mind.

Often the word mindfulness is thrown around as a helpful tool for optimizing happiness.

Basically, mindfulness is the ability to live in the moment,  and to appreciate the beauty in your surroundings.

There's no point worrying about the future too much,  for you're not giving yourself the opportunity to enjoy the present.

I used to find myself worrying about things I'd said and done and how such and such might view me differently because of this and that.  I had no self confidence or worth so I put everyone else's needs before myself because I didn't respect my own wellbeing and I wanted to please people.

I thought saying no to commitments to spend time doing the things I wanted was selfish.

What I didn't realize was that the negative thoughts circulating in my mind,  telling me my opinions didn't matter, that I wasn't good enough,  to bite my tongue,  just say yes,  nod and agree and so on and so forth,  meant that slowly over time,  I was wearing myself down, until it began to affect my emotions and eventually my behavior.

I'd bullied myself to breaking point.

Thinking back I was the school yard bitch,  except that I wasn't picking on other kids,  instead,  I was abusing myself.

I would never ever let anyone treat my friends the way I treated myself,  but that was okay because well it was just little old me.

After I recovered from my illness I realized I had to make big changes to my mental well being diet.

So what's my new diet?

-I feed my mind with positive affirmations about my abilities,  and the accomplishments that I make every single day.

-Every time a negative thought enters into my head I picture a stop sign and force myself to recognize that the thought isn't helpful, nor factual and that I create a distraction or diversion from thinking that way.

-I practice deep full belly breaths.  I learnt to do this by placing both hands on my belly in a seated position with my legs shoulder width apart. When you breath in you should feel your belly inflat and when you exhale heavily through your nose or mouth you should feel your belly deflate.  I find this technique really useful and quite unrecognizable when in stressful situations or if I'm really tired.

-I say no to requests if I really don't feel up to it because I'm stressed,  run down,  tired, just don't really want to or if I want to focus on something else.

-I stick up for myself because I value my opinion and trust my feelings.  Sometimes that can be incredibly difficult and confrontational but I have learnt to write down what I want to say first, with possible solutions or suggestions,  practice it,  and then chuck in a few deep breaths, positive affirmations and trust myself.

-I have key words that change my thinking instantly.  If I'm in bed and struggling to switch off the minute I say sleep time I'm out like a light.  This took practice to distract your mind wondering with the stop sign that I was talking about earlier but helps.

-If I really can't sleep I practice a technique where you start thinking about your little toe and clenching your muscles and you work your way through every limb and distraction from the thoughts keeping you awake helps you to sleep.

-I really pay attention to the sunsets and rises, the color of the sky and the shape of the clouds,  the feel of the warm sun on your skin,  the smell of yummy foods and the little, beautiful things in life.  It really is refreshing and feels you with appreciation and happiness.

-I take my medication and I don't feel one bit guilty or selfish or giddy or out of character or anything.  I feel alive.

-I write my blog.  Everyone must have an outlet from the craziness of life whether it's smashing it on the footy field or singing,  dancing,  knitting or painting.  My blog is my release and allows me to put my thoughts on paper and out of my mind and it has helped me to grow confidence in myself and to work through my struggles.

As you can see there's many ways to stay mentally fit; and just like a trim, taunt and terrific body it takes a healthy diet of positive thoughts and exercise to learn ways to manage the negative thoughts to turn your brain into one strong and healthy mind.

Do you have any tips for keeping mentally fit?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Monday, 9 June 2014

The Retail Therapy Kick

Sometimes money does equal happiness.

There's just something super exciting about pulling up at a shopping centre and knowing that just inside those doors,  there's items that are just so darn cute and adorable that youfeel as though they were made just to make you feel all gooey and excitable on the inside.

Yes,  the retail therapy kick.

Seriously,  it exists,  and while it may seem superficial there's nothing wrong with dabbling in a little (lot) of consumerism.

While online shopping means that within a moment of downloading a page and the click of a button your prized possession arrives smack bang on your very own doorstep,  call me old fashioned but I still love the experience of in store shopping.

It's nice to be fussed over (in a non overbearing pushy way) and to load your arms up with so many coat hangers that the sales assistance gives up on counting your number of items and waves you through.

Nothing beats seeing how the gourmets fit your body type and realizing that you look a million bucks in that item that caught your eye on the rack.

And then there's the hop skip and the jump to the counter to wave around your card and make that final exchange so that the gourmet is your very own hot property.

Oh wait,  and then there's rushing home in the door and re trying on all of your purchases and twisting and turning from all angles in the mirroring secretly patting yourself on the back for your hard days efforts.


I don't care how lame it sounds but it's therapeutic and is a great confidence boast to know you have something new to shape up your boring old closest!

Saturday, 7 June 2014

The Weight of the World

Isn't it crazy how quickly we allow events in our lives to compound until we literally feel like we're carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders which is squeezing our chest and making it difficult to breath?

It may only be little mishaps, that at first, we don't pay too much attention too that all build up causing unwanted,  and sometimes,  unrecognized stress to factor into our lives.

It could be a bad hair day,  mixed with a comment from a colleague that catches you off guard which causes you to become a little defensive and then,  whoops a mistake that you wouldn't usually make with a clear thinking mind and then the Domino effect begins.

No matter how hard we try to balance the many plates of life sometimes we find ourselves swaying on one leg with 10 plates in one arm and 10 on our head.

Why is it that we let little things affect us much more then we'd ever even like ourselves to believe?

It really really sucks that sometimes,  cringe, it's not until we explode at someone,  or find ourselves swearing and cursing under our breaths, or eeekkk that horrible feeling of anxiety that we stop and realize just how much those little things are affecting our lives.

I realized this the other day when I was trying to decide whether the tightening of my chest was an oncoming menstrual cycle,  the fact that I'd just climbed stairs or whether I was a little more stressed then I'd allowed myself to believe.

I quickly realized that perhaps it was more the latter thing bothering me and that it was time to reassess the cause of my stresses.

At the end of the day,  if something is stressing you out so much that it's affecting your health then it's simply not worth it.

Fortunately a weekend away to remove myself from my normal routines and commitments was enough for me to be able to deep belly breath again without feeling like an elephant had taken permanent residence on my chest.

But this got me thinking;  how do other people cope when they're feeling stressed?

Do people recognize the early warning signs to avoid blurt outs and break downs?

One thing that I have learnt is to listen to your body. If your test is tighter then normal or you're having break outs or tummy troubles then you may be under more pressure and stress then you realize.

Take the time to acknowledge your feelings and reassess the causes so that you can live life with a clear mind and free flowing breath.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Hitting the Big O

Oh no is she really going to go there? 

There,  like down there,  there.

Yup,  she is.

It has been bought to my attention that some women have never,  ever,  ever climaxed during sexual experimentation,  so listen up ladies and gents,  there's some things you need to know about reaching the magic o.

First up ladies, if you're not sure whether you've had one or not then you haven't.  Definitely haven't.  You will know.  Trust me.

Next to my dear, fellow,  lovely over thinking,  mind wandering,  easily distracted ladies; why do we love chocolate?

Because it's naughty?  Because with every bite we savor the taste and slowly melt the sweet goodness on our taste buds as it feels our mouth with innocent temptation.  We think about the chocolate.  We know we love the chocolate. The chocolate hits the spot first time every time. .. The chocolate doesn't disappoint (whoops there it is! )

But would the chocolate taste soooo good if you started thinking about how much it cost or the energy it required to go down the street, line up behind 10 other people with a basket full of shopping and then,  when you finally got home,  you didn't really need it or it didn't really taste as good as you'd hoped and you were left feeling fat and frumpy?

Would the sweetness,  the naughtiness and the chocolate really hit the spot if you allowed these thoughts to enter your mind?


My point?  You've got to be in the moment with your partner. The poor guy is probably doing everything in his power to make it feel good for you and meanwhile your mind is off trying to grab a glimpse of the TV or thinking about your to do list so much so that you blurt out are you done yet?

Allow your mind to indulge in those naughty little thoughts.  Lay your eyes on the way your partners arm muscles tense,  and how cute his bum looks.  Fill your mind with how good it feels.  Don't be afraid to take control or to carefully instruct him where to touch. Let's face it,  he's going to get off no matter what so use those thoughts and that ever talking voice to your advantage.


Our boobs are attached to our body.

Sometimes your partner will like them touched and sometimes if you touch them then she's likely to slap you.

Gauge her mood.  Listen to what she wants.

Put in a little effort. 

Girls don't spring to attention and instantly want to jack rabbit til the cows come home like you so easily do.

Show them that you want to please them. Take the attention away from your desires and focus on theirs.

Girls love the kissy wissy,  touchy wutchy,  compliments on their body (big ticket winner as most girls aren't happy with something or another), type foreplay.

Just do it.

Don't moan and groan about how they've got it easy and can get it whenever they want it.

This will lead to a cold shoulder,  tuck and roll with the quilt, no talking, no big o scenario.

Tread carefully with dirty talk. .. it'll either be a big winner winner chicken dinner with your Mrs or she'll be drier then the sahara during a drought the second the words leave your lips.

Did I mention foreplay?  Oh and making it about her satisfaction? Haha 2 big important things that can take you from hero to zero or zero to hero!

Have control.  Con-trol.  Geez think about the cricket for all she cares,  just try and last the distance. Just like hearing the final siren blast and you're still standing,  uninjured and a winner,  you'll feel proud for going the distance all the way to o town. .. so pace yourself.

So ladies and gents,  there you have it.

Of course,  the first time after reading this you might not hit the spot because you're too busy thinking about my super helpful tips lol but over time,  and with practice,  you'll find your groove and you'll know just why the big o is worth the persistence.

Happy practicing.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

When the Going Gets Tough

One of the hardest things in life is seeing those closest to you face an incredibly difficult personal battle.

Being the caring protective people we are,  as soon as we hear of pain and anguish we want to dive for our armour,  battle axes and shields and slay the beast that threatens our beloveds happiness.

But we all know that we'd be locked up in jail if we tore to shreads the very existence of some of the problems so how do we help those in need?

It's a tough gig this friend bizzo.

Once you've calmed down a little (and unenrolled from the grievance body harm classes that you rushed into when you saw the red flag),  then it's time to think about a more feasible way to help.

But how?

On one hand you don't want to bombard the person with face stalking,  texting,  calling,  cards,  flowers and chocolates but on the other hand you don't want to give them so much space that they come to the conclusion that you're avoiding them and gar. .. no longer want them in your life.

And then there's the whole what do you say thing?

Do you nod and agree with their opinions that may be warped by anger,  frustration and fear or do you speak up and say some honest truths?

Do you acknowledge that it sucks or do you avoid the conversations and try to change the focus to other things that you can control and change?

How do you reassure the person that everything will be okay?

It's tough and I'm certainly no expert,  in fact I struggle with this all of the time.

I know when I was sick there really wasn't anything that anyone could really do to make me feel better.  I was numb and I was struggling to accept my illness and situation as real but temporary.

The thing that I worried about the most was judgement and being left all alone to deal with my problems.

So I guess,  my biggest tips would be to let the person know that you won't think negatively about them because of their challenge,  no matter what that might be.

Sometimes all the person needs to know and feel is the reassurance that you're still there,  all judgements aside, and that you care and love them.

It may be a battle that they have to accept,  deal with and move on by themselves but your acceptance of how they are feeling will be a welcomed step forward to acknowledging that their feelings exist,  that they're real and that they are worthy of working through and finding a new life to work towards.

One of the hardest things is to not take their negativity,  absence and behavior personally.

Try to remember that the person is using their energy to put one foot in front of the other and sometimes they will have to turn their lens internally to work through their circumstance,  and that's no reflection on you as a friend,  it just means that you may need to give 150% when they can only give back 50%.

But when they overcome their challenge they will be forever grateful for your support.

Do you have any tips for supporting your loved ones through a tough patch?

Look after yourselves and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Sunday, 1 June 2014

The Art of Contentness

Is it true that the grass is always greener?

We're taught to work hard to accomplish our goals and to strive to achieve new things,  but sometimes we become so caught up on setting ourselves up for the future and what's coming next in our chapters that we forget to take that step back,  slow our lives down and to be truly content with what we have.

Sometimes all it takes is one quiet night in to allow yourself to become engrossed in your favorite TV series to be able to catch your breath and to remove yourself from living in the now to enjoying the moment.

Having a day to potter and to do something for yourself and not for anyone else can be enough to allow yourself to have another sense of appreciation for life.

Slowing down your life can sometimes be the key to loving and not just living life.

Being truly content with what you have at times, can be difficult if you compare yourselves to others and the stages that they are at,  but giving yourself a chance to see the beauty in the life that you're creating is sure to give you a sense of satisfaction and a reason to smile; you're where you're meant to be, right now,  in life.

The grass may sometimes look greener if you don't take the time to see that you're on a pretty luscious little patch.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx