Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Sunday, 14 June 2015

Oh baby; the Power of Fear!

Anyone who has ever experienced a panic attack or lives life with a phobia, understands the power of fear; whether of course, it's perceived or real.

Fear is such a powerful emotion and thought, that it can quite literally paralyze our body, send our minds into a spin, create physiological reactions like the feeling of your heart about to jump out of your chest, sweaty palms, blurred vision, dizziness as your blood rushes to the body parts activated by the "flight or fight response" to save your life when you feel as though your life is endangered.

When fear is present, we become tense, we think irrationally and we lose control of our mind and body.


So isn't it funny that when we mention labour the first thing that pops up in many people's minds is fear.

We've all heard the terrifying stories of ripping, tearing from arm hole to breakfast, spilling the contents of our bowels on the table, cutting, stiching,  screaming and pain over and over again in our lives that we now accept it as truth... infact all of my life, I have only heard two positive experiences with birthing and they come from two close friends who have removed the fear through hypno birthing.

We believe that labour  goes hand in hand with fear and pain.

To suggest otherwise is to place yourself at risk of eye rolling, pffffffts, "just you waits", and the recollection of every gory detail of those who have traveled the road before you.

I don't blame other mummies for sharing their stories - after all, their mothers told them, whose mothers told them, and so the tradition continues; it's almost like we've come to accept sharing our horrific birthing stories as a right of passage for those who have been there - it justifies our pain, shows our strength, defines us as women who can endure so much to bring life into this world.

But because I'd a bit of a left field thinker, a challenger of "accepting things" just because we're lead to believe "it's the only way", and am on a journey to discovering the power of our thoughts, which I've already used to conquer fear in my life, I have started challenging these beliefs.

Why was our body made to procreate without pain, but not to give birth without pain?

Over the years of evolution and adaptation surely us humans,  the most complex creatures on earth, have created bodies fit and healthy for birthing.

Why do some cultures birth with ease and without drugs while others pre-book in dates for c sections?

How can people who have tried hypnobirthing  and have released the fear surrounding birthing, experience no pain while others who go in with fear experience horrendous pain and discomfort?

Why have psychologists, psychiatrists and counsellors all around the world had success with reducing anxiety, depression, phobias and fears through mindfulness, cognitive behaviour therapy, hypnotherapy and the like?

Because they challenge the fears, and teach people to challenge their thoughts - so that people can remain calm and in control in stressful situations.

So what happens if there's another way to approach birthing rather then paralysed and tormented with fear?

What happens if we could control or eliminate this fear so that our body and mind remains calm and in control so that our muscles relax, instead of freaking out which causes our muscles to tense, causing stress for the uterus that can no longer "release" the baby with ease?

This realization, this hope, and this questioning has made me realize that perhaps there is another way...perhaps there's a chance that I can give myself the opportunity to remain calm when I enter through those hospital doors, so that whatever may happen, be that a c section, natural birth or drug aided birth, that I can remain calm and in control so that we can bring this baby into the world in a relaxed atmosphere... heck why not chuck it out there and say - so that my husband and I can enjoy the experience of birthing.

I have experienced the power of the mind along my journey of life.

I have conquered my fear  of public  speaking through hypnotherapy by changing my thinking,  I rarely have negative thoughts pop into my head because I've practiced mindfulness, I understand the power of the breath to eliminate  stress and fear.

I know how empowering it is to remain calm and in control no matter what life throws at you - by removing fear.

Exploring hypno birthing isn't about going al la natural for me - it's about giving myself the opportunity to stay relaxed and calm, no matter what happens in that birthing room.

For those of you who aren't sure what hypnobirthing is - here's a quick definition from good old wikipedia "Hypnotherapy during childbirth is based on the theory that to experience an easy and comfortable birth, women need to have an understanding of the way in which the uterus functions naturally during normal childbirth when unencumbered by fear, along with the ill effects of the fear-tension-pain cycle on the birthing process. Birthing women and their support partners are taught non-pharmacological strategies, such as relaxationmeditation and visualisation, that allow the body to birth normally without restrictions to assist in less painful, easier, more comfortable birthing.["

So here's to exploring hypno birthing - and removing fear in the labour room.

Can't wait to keep you posted on our journey.

Indigo Phoenix

Ps - we've chosen Chantelle Smith from Indigo Phoenix Hypnotherapy to share our experience with us - I couldn't recommend her enough - after having great results with my public speaking phobia I'm so excited to see what results we can achieve with birthing our baby.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx 

Ps - if you're interested in "choosing an alternative to freaking out in the labour" then this  book is full of information, tips and tricks to help ease your mind!

Hypnobirthing: The Breakthrough Natural Approach to Safer, Easier, More Comfortable Birthing - The Mongan Method
You can buy it here.

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

O Baby - O Lordy - Where Do We Start? All Things Baby Purchases


I'm not sure whether it was friends tagging us in second hand Facebook baby bargains, the fact that we're almost half way through our pregnancy or the knowledge that baby proofing and branding our house could potentially cost us an arm and leg, that kicked my butt into gear to maybe start researching WHAT ON EARTH we need to "prepare ourselves for the arrival of bubs". 

I tongue in cheek say "prepare ourselves for bubs" because I'm pretty certain nothing, not even the best of the best in baby ware, fleecy woollen rugs, 50 million dummies, cupboards stocked full of nappies, breast pumps, sushers (only just found out what this was the other day - that's FB marketing!) and all things baby can truly "prepare you" for when you bring bubs home!

I'm not sure if it's "normal", but if you're anything like me then walking into K-mart and glancing in the direction of the pink and blue cutesy wutesy outfits and rows and rows of unidentified objects scares the bejeebers out of me.

There I said it; thinking about baby purchases overwhelms me...

Some might *cringe* here thinking, jingos, is this crazy lady really "ready for kids?"

Others might laugh and think me too!

Yes, I'm a first time mum.

No, I don't know what a baby dam or mungo is.

Yes, it was fun getting bubs into my tum.

No, I didn't think about getting bubs out of my tum.

Yes, I'm naively excited about the journey we're on.

No, we' don't have millions of dollars in the bank, a childproof, or even anything proof house yet (but it's slowly getting there), and we don't have a clue about parenthood (except from witnessing our loved ones becoming mummy and daddies!)

Yes, we thought, well if we wait for enough money and a nice house then we'll be past our expiry date for children!

So yes, we are incredibly grateful to be growing a human baby - that we made - together - out of the love we share!

But anyhoo, back to all things baby buys!

I'm not really sure what it is exactly that sends me into a spin, and opting to avoid the baby aisles; perhaps it's because house renovations are our number 1 priority so that baby t has a nursery and comfortable place to call home, or maybe it's something deeper, like that fact that I have been soo mindful of miscarriages and things "going wrong", that I didn't want to jinx myself by racing out and buying all things baby "just in case".

Or maybe, just maybe, it's because I spent the first trimester + 1 week with my head in a bucket as a constant reminder that I was pregnant (which of course, I was incredibly grateful for), and then BAM - sickness stopped, energy came back, and despite the hanger pangs and nausea that can be quickly dissolved with food, I CAN SOMETIMES FORGET THAT I'M EVEN PREGNANT IN THE FIRST PLACE...until I catch myself in a mirror and thing ohhh jeez better slow down on those hamburgers!

And then, then one of the most amazing things started to happen - little butterfly flutters.

At first I wasn't sure if it was a pop, burp or tummy rumble - but as the flutters started feeling like muscle spasms, and the twinges became more regular, I started to realise, that yes, indeed, baby t is in there, growing stronger each and every day, and reminding mummy that he or she is indeed preparing to enter our lives in 23 weeks!

So yes, I really, really need to take a leaf out of my babies book, and get a little wiggle on!

Here's what I've come to accept - if I think about all things baby and every single thing that we'll need then I become overwhelmed, similar to when I thought about planning our wedding day and everything involved, just scared me into inaction....so instead, what I am choosing to do, is to prioritize the things we'll need first,  and to start slowly, one thing at a time, sweeping the net, texting mummy friends and trawling second hand sites for all things baby buys!

So I had this idea, that I could perhaps help other first time mummies out by sharing my journey to babyfying our house - what things we bought first, how much you can expect to pay for budgeting purposes, what options were out there, what recommendations friends made, what we chose to buy second hand and what we bought brand spanking new, and shedding some light on those unidentified objects in the shopping aisles!

First up is our bassinet...but that can wait for another post!

Can't wait to share my journey to mummyhood with you!

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx